Fatties vs Mittens: Fatties WIN!!!

Hey! Lookit that! I have a blog! Let’s warm up with something fun, shall we?

Y’all, seriously, I read this a couple days ago, and I was absolutely positive that this was one of those rare, hilarious times when The Onion prints something and somebody mistakes it for legitimate news. Turns out though? I was wrong!

There really is a story circulating about how us fatties are “threatening the mitten industry!” Now, The Rotund already did a nice takedown of it, but I gotta say, Mr. Thornacious and I have been having a right good laugh over this for days, and it still hasn’t gotten old.

Now, just for reference here – I’m the sort of person who gets cold in mid-September and stays that way until mid-April. I started wearing wool socks two weeks ago, and today we did the annual tearing apart of the house in search of last winter’s accessories.

Meanwhile, Mr. Thornacious is one of those weird dudes you occasionally see wandering around in shorts when there’s snow on the ground. He’ll be hanging around the house in shorts and a t-shirt while I’m contemplating what layer to add next.

So Monday morning when we were taking our kids to school, I was wearing wool socks, a fleece jacket, a wool hat and wishing I’d been able to find some of my wool mittens, while he was wearing shorts, two short-sleeved shirts and a fleece vest.

Thus began a whole crazy conversation about how obviously Mr. Thornacious was on the front lines in our Evil Fatty attack on the mitten industry, and was even working on our next objectives, the pant and sleeve industries!!!

Bwah Ha Ha ha HA!!!

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