I know I haven’t been doing much to keep this blog o’ mine updated lately. Sorry y’all.
For all that I haven’t been making progress on this here blog, I have been making small steps in my life toward, y’know, greater acceptance of myself as a fat person.
And before I even tell you, I just want to say that this is all happening despite my ongoing battle with the insidious Depression Voltron – the combination of grief, SAD and mild PPD which I’d been kind of “handling” myself, up until Mom died. So, y’know, I think that should net me an extra gold star. Just sayin’.
So, a friend of mine and I were talking about how we’d both been thinking about trying yoga in the new year. So she emailed me the other day saying, “I’m thinking about taking this beginner class, want to join me?”
And I, in a SHOCKING display of maturity and body acceptance, looked it up and emailed the instructor and explained that I am a plus-size woman, and asked if he had experience modifying poses for larger people, and if he for any reason didn’t think his class would be a good fit for me, if he could suggest any other classes or instructors I could try.
I’m not even sure where that came from, I just sort of sent out the email before I could think about it (which is probably a key to the success of it right there, considering my capacity to overthink myself into paralysis).
Well, he wrote back this HUGE thing, talking about his experience, and suggesting I try one of his drop-in classes, and then also other classes and instructors who might be helpful to me as well. It was so incredible, I could only skim it at first, and then left it in my inbox a few days just to process the reality of it. I mean, he acted no differently than I expect he would have if I’d written him saying, “I am interested in your class, but my body works differently from most people’s because I have a bad knee” or something. It was really… like I say, I had to just process the reality of his kind, thoughtful, totally non-judgmental response.
Finally, I almost backed out but my friend was all, “Sign up sign up sign up!” So, again, before I could think about it too much, I did
I figure once I get through the holidays I will start trolling around asking for ideas on how other people modify poses, because I decided to just give it a try last night and uh… yeah. Child’s pose is a no-go for me. My belly gets in the way.
But that’s fine. I figure I will talk to a few people and keep in touch with this instructor guy and we’ll figure out how to make this work for me.
Also, I’m seeing someone in a couple weeks so I should be able to get some help in defeating Depression Voltron, and won’t THAT be a kick in the ass! (In a good way, I mean.)
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