Brief Update

October 23, 2008 at 1:29 am 3 comments

Hey y’all – I know I haven’t updated in forever. Life has been… complicated.

Basically, I’m dealing with my twins starting preschool, and being given “an educational label of autism” which is not the same thing as an autism diagnosis from, say, a medical professional. However, there is a strong correlation between the two. At the very least, we’re dealing with Pervasive Developmental Delay (PDD), and I have evaluations for them scheduled to see if they really do fall on the autism spectrum, and if so where, and what do we do with that information, whatever it may be.

The kiddos are going to preschool on alternate days right now, which seems to be working out well for them, and well for the school staff, and pretty much great for everyone but the mom (that’d be me), who was kind of counting on preschool representing little patches of Me-Time on a regular basis, for the first time in four years.

Granted, I’m pleased as punch at the boys’ progress, and am glad as anything that they seem to be (finally) settling in well at their preschool, and I’m getting to know their special ed teacher, and their occupational therapist, and their speech therapist, and they all are seeming to be good people with a lot of creativity and knowledge to bring forth on behalf of my kiddos, so that is an unmitigated GOOD.

But dudes, I am more exhausted than I have been in AGES. It used to be, if I was feeling blah, we could just hang around at home all day and bum around. Now I’ve got to get everybody dressed and into the car so that one kid can be at school on time, and I’ve got to keep straight who’s seeing who and when, and I’ve got to make sure the house isn’t a complete wreck when the OT comes over, and… yeah.

Like I say – life has gotten complicated.

It’s, overall, a good kind of complicated, I admit. I’m seeing progress already with the boys and I’m thrilled about it, and I’m learning a lot about them and me and the brain, which is always interesting. And I’m learning that I’m not as bad a mom as I always thought I was, seeing as how it takes a small fleet of trained professionals to properly do what I’ve been schlockily doing all on my untrained amateur own. So that’s been something of a relief, honestly.

And I’ve been trying to figure out what one mom and one kid do on their own together, because well… that’s kind of a whole new thing for me. I’ve always been so busy using the Zone Defense style of parenting that this whole man-on-man, time for actual conversations (well, as much conversation as my kids are willing to offer) and creating opportunities for “teaching moments” thing is throwing me for a real serious loop.

Seriously, I’ve been finding myself often saying to people, “So um… what do you DO when it’s just you and one kid? Does this mean you can like, go to actual STUFF together, and not break out in a nervous sweat the moment you arrive? Because I haven’t figured out how to do that yet.”

So… yeah. That would be why nobody’s seen hide nor hair of me lately (though I am on Twitter, for anyone who is interested). I still lurk around a bit, and try to keep up, but it’s going to be a while before I can even try to get back to posting even as irregularly as I was.

Keep on fighting the good fight, y’all, and I hope to be back soon!

Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Everything I know… (pt. 1) Success vs Failure

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. jamboree  |  October 23, 2008 at 6:35 am

    I’m kind of in the same boat with you, albeit in the UK! My son turned 4 recently and we are staring the autism spectrum spectre in the face, waiting for a proper diagnosis.

    Funnily enough, the idea that my son is struggling with these issues has given me a bit more patience with him. I’m not perfect by any means, but I’m thinking outside the box more, which is a good thing!

    Good luck. We all need a bit of it, I think.

  • 2. nuckingfutz  |  October 23, 2008 at 8:56 am


    First off, **hugs**!! I know from which you speak – my soon-to-be 14 y.o. went through the same thing, although a bit younger than your boys (she was only 2 1/2 when she was diagnosed with PDD). It’s exhausting, and confusing (meaning, all that information? One big swirl. Trying to sort it all out in your head can be quite a task), and I’m sure you have days when you just want the world to STOP for a bit so you can catch up.

    I know I did.

    If you feel the need to talk, drop me a line. I’ve got my email posted on the Contact Me page over at The Long and Winding Road.


    *more hugs* just for the hell of it.

  • 3. Piffle  |  October 23, 2008 at 9:31 am

    Bless you, kids are tough and me time is very important. My 8 yr old has just been diagnosed with ADHD, plus I have a four and a ten year old too. My husband watches the boys while my daughter takes an art class for two hours on Saturday, and that’s my me time.

    I know it’s not recommended, but I think a good TV program like Calliou or Dragontales can allow you a bit of rest on those frazzled days.

    I don’t know what exactly your kids like, but one on one with mine I always liked to read books to them. Puzzles and ball-rolling games are also good. On nice days a playground is always a winner, and our local mall has a clamberground for the six and under set that can be fun on rainy days.


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