Archive for January, 2009

Misadventures in Shopping

So, I had this hilariously stupid moment the other day.

I was out with Mr. Thornacious and the kids, shopping some of the crazy-ass post-Christmas sales with our gifts from the Treasury Santa. And so we were at the Lands’ End Inlet nearby, and there were a ton of just GREAT sweaters on sale. And I found a bunch in my size, and scurried off to the changing room to try them on, and realized… while they all fit, they also all looked like crap on me.


It’s a weird thing, for me – for all that I feel like I’m doing fairly well at the whole accepting my body and coming to peace with it, I’ve never had a real sense of what my body actually LOOKS like, and so every so often, it’s like I get all stupid and forget important little details.

Like, I have no neck.

No, really. I have big tits, broad shoulders, and no freakin’ neck to speak of. I look like a really short, bosomy linebacker.

And I’m cool with that, generally speaking. And over the past few years, I’ve kind of figured out what works on me and what doesn’t. But every so often I get all stupid, and decide to try on three sweaters in a row with turtlenecks or mock-turtlenecks, and then I wonder why these sweaters that fit nicely and are in “my” colors and were totally discounted look like crap on me.

Shockingly, it turns out my neck hasn’t grown a couple inches in the past few years.

So now I’m wondering – does everyone sometimes just get all lost in the excitement of a good sale and cute stuff in their size, and forget that Look ABC or Style XYZ just. Does. Not. Work. on them?

Really, I’m asking here. Because unlike a lot of parents, my mom spent a lot of my teen years trying to convince me TO wear makeup, and trying to convince me to do MORE with my hair. And so, because of course I had to rebel, I went the other way – no makeup, hair that got combed out of the shower and ignored, and a wardrobe made up of four shades of black (and not cool gothy black, either – that was after my time).

So now I’m a 35-year-old woman who is still figuring out how to dress herself, and I just want to know – is it like this for everyone else? Or is it just me?

January 2, 2009 at 2:45 am 12 comments

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