“Trapped in Brain, Send Help”

February 14, 2009 at 2:33 pm 4 comments

That’s the message all my various ideas would send if, y’know, they suddenly had the ability to communicate without my assistance.

Of course, if they could communicate without my assistance, then they wouldn’t be trapped, they would be free to get out into the world without me.

No, I am NOT high. I’m just kind of in some weird headspace right now. Nothing bad, particularly, just weird. I get all these ideas in my head, some of them inspired by things I’ve seen, or read, or done, and I want to get them out there, see what other people think.

But then I don’t have the time or energy to do any of these ideas the justice they deserve, and so I wind up with this accelerating maelstrom of ideas swirling through my mind. Which, in some ways is kind of interesting, because sometimes Idea A and Idea C bump into each other, and I realize they inter-relate in some way and now I’ve got Idea J in there too. And I’m the sort who can’t help but find new ideas exciting, even if I don’t really have the mental space to contain them.

So, at least for now, I’m going to kind of put some summaries out there and maybe some of y’all can tell me what you think.

Among the ideas:

* I recently joined Facebook, and have discovered a whole new challenge to my personal journey of acceptance. Because suddenly I have reconnected with people I knew in high school and college, and many of them I’m very happy to be in touch with again. But I’m looking at people’s photos and realizing that while most of us have gained a bit of weight as we’ve aged, everyone else seems to have gained 10-40 pounds. I’ve gained, like, 100. And suddenly I find myself feeling self-conscious about my body again, when I hadn’t for a very long time.

* My kids received Wall-E on DVD for Christmas. It got lost for a while, but they recently rediscovered it, so it’s been on maximum rotation here at Chez Thornacious. And once again, I am reminded of the post I started about the movie’s treatement of fat people back when the Fatosphere was buzzing about it, but never finished. And the follow-up post to that one about the sexism and rape-culture-y icky aspects of the movie. And then I was visiting a friend who has a couple of grade-school-age kids, who were watching the movie, and suddenly I had a whole new perspective on the movie’s treatment of fat people, and so I want to write about that now, too. sigh. Oh, and also, there’s the sidebar comparing Wall-E to another popular movie from a few years ago, which I would love to write about at length as well.

* As a mother of multiples, and particularly as a mother of multiples who spent some time on food stamps and WIC (i.e. welfare), I’ve been deeply troubled by the coverage of the woman in California who recently gave birth to octuplets. Thankfully, Melissa over at Shakesville summed up my initial thoughts pretty adequately.

However, as the media uproar has continued, I am just more and more appalled by how Nadya Suleman is being treated, and what it says about how all women are treated in this culture. The very idea that anyone can be shocked that this poor woman is now receiving death threats, after our “liberal” media gleefully printed stories like this one from the Associated Press: “Taxpayers may have to cover octuplet mom’s costs,” is absurd to me.

I don’t have to think another woman’s decisions are right, or even smart, to recognize that it’s not my place to dictate or judge her life. I have been sorely disappointed to hear so many other people, including a great many feminists, who apparently disagree.

Further, I find it alarming how many people – in particular people who tend to be anti-abortion – feel no compunctions about suggesting we throw these children under the bus, simply because they don’t like the decisions the children’s mother has made.

* Which has led me to other thoughts, on the order of how our culture (speaking of the U.S., though I know many other cultures are similar) thinks the notion of imprisoning a child for the crimes of his or her father is barbaric. Yet too many don’t even flinch at the idea of children in our own country being denied a decent way of life – fresh, healthy foods, safe places to play, a good education – because of the social “crimes” of their mother (poverty, single parenthood, being the “wrong” race/religion/ethnicity, etc.).

* I recently discovered some old emails, and in re-reading them I was surprised to find proof that I really have made more progress in my self-acceptance journey than I had previously thought. Well, my whole new Facebook-related issues aside, of course.


Brain, I hope this clears a bit of space for you, and you can stop getting all freaky whenever I try to lie down and get some damn sleep.

Readers, I hope you find this interesting, even if only in a “strange glimpse into how Thorn’s brain works” kinda way.

As a final note – it’s Valentine’s Day, which as far as I’m concerned is just an excuse to eat red- and pink-frosted cookies (heart-shape optional). However, if you’ve a mind to go out and do something to celebrate the day, please consider supporting what I like to call the Pink Chaddi Campaign by going to a local pub and raising a glass to women’s freedom everywhere.

Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Misadventures in Shopping YOU and me on Fat Acceptance

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. wellroundedtype2  |  February 14, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    Hi Thornacious,
    Here’s my thought on the Facebook photo issue:
    When I see photos of people I haven’t seen in years on Facebook, I notice things about them. How “big” they appear to be is just one thing I notice. And they I forget about it. I weigh about 40 pounds more than I did when I graduated high school and I was not at all small then. I don’t think anyone would be shocked by what I look like now.
    If these people are worth knowing today, they’ll be glad to be back in touch with you, your size being immaterial. That’s how I would feel if I got back in touch with someone from high school or college who I hadn’t seen and wanted to. I might notice, but it wouldn’t make a lick of difference to my wanting to connect with them.

  • 2. Thorn  |  February 14, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    Thanks, WRt2 – I know you’re absolutely right. In fact, I’ve been trying to tell myself that for a few days now, with only mild success. It helps to hear it from other people, I think.

    Mostly I just have found myself caught a bit flat-footed by this. I’d thought I’d licked a lot of my self-acceptance issues and was doing pretty well, and then all the sudden to find myself feeling emotions I haven’t felt in a while was kind of an unwelcome surprise, y’know?

  • 3. Stephanie  |  February 15, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    Yet too many don’t even flinch at the idea of children in our own country being denied a decent way of life – fresh, healthy foods, safe places to play, a good education – because of the social “crimes” of their mother (poverty, single parenthood, being the “wrong” race/religion/ethnicity, etc.).

    Or even just having parents who switched jobs one too many times, or who worked in the wrong industry and got laid off at a bad time, or who decided to take the job that paid less and gave them more time with their kids — these kids don’t deserve a good education or edible food, either.

  • 4. Thorn  |  February 15, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    Very true, Stephanie. Though in my experience (and I readily admit it’s limited, so ymmv), many people seem to be more sympathetic about public assistance for kids growing up in two-parent homes where the father has been laid off or something. Kids of single mothers, especially if the mother is a WOC, or has never been married vs. being divorced, somehow don’t get the same sort of sympathy from the public-at-large, generally speaking.

    For the record, if it were up to me, all kids would get good educational opportunities, get all the fresh, healthy food they can stand, free health care and plenty of safe spaces in which to play. Alas, no one has nominated me for Queen of the World yet. grin.


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